Never underestimate what your words and understanding mean at a time when situations seem hopeless and miserable.
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- GerryDecember, 2000
From a husbands perspective this was the most frustrating time of our 44 years together. I had no idea what Mary's problem was, but she was becoming increasingly a prisoner within the boundaries of our homes, and seemingly unable to do some most basic of errands, like walking two blocks to post a letter or a little further to the bank or shops, tasks I needed her to do as my work commitments prevented me from doing so, much of the time. It got to the point where she would make ridiculous excuses, even downright lies to avoid doing these wee jobs, that it really began to anger me. There was nothing wrong with her, I thought, so why was she being so bloody minded over doing such trivial tasks, which I imagined would get her away from the drudgery of housework even if only for a short time? It began to seriously affect our relationship, and we were quarelling over things that at another time we'd regard as extremely trifling.
It was not until Mary realised she desperately needed help and was fortunate enought to hear your ad on Radio Pacific, and she made that first tentative phone call. We discussed her getting counselling ( without arguement!! ) but she still agonized for three weeks before finally making a commitment to get well. A tiny step for someone who is well, but a giant leap for Mary as she was then, ill, but not knowing what the illness was or worse still not knowing, either of us, that she was ill, and just how ill she was. When we could atlast put a name to this vexious complaint, agoraphobia, with the attendant panic attacks, and with your wonderful counselling, not only Mary, but myself, we were able to begin to understand what we were battling against. We were on the road to retreiving something we had cherished but nearly lost, our once happy marriage.
Neither of us being able to understand that Mary was suffering from an all too prevalent nervous disorder, had made things particularly tough, and this must be the most difficult thing a spouse has to try and cope with. There are no obvious signs to those who are aware that something is critically amiss, the gradual progressive nature of the complaint leaves the unaffected party at a loss. There are no bandages, ergo no complaint. I can well understand how many marriages would fail under this kind of pressure. Agoraphobia and panic attacks are insidious by nature, with the complainant unable to grasp what's happening to them, thus unable to articulate to those about them that something is wrong.
Thanks to you David, Mary and I now enjoy all the contentedness we once had, but thought was gone for good. I can unconditionally recommend this program to anyone who may think they are sufferers. And directly to them I would say, do not think about what it may cost, but focus on what it would be like to be truly well again. Our health, physical, mental and spiritual, are our greatest assets, and all three are compromised by his complaint. Get help from David and GET WELL AGAIN!
Thanks again David and many blessings on your work.